Alphabet Conundrums
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What word is it of only three syllables which combines in it
twenty-six letters? Alphabet. Which word in the English language contains the greatest number of letters? Disproportionableness. What is the best bet ever made? The alphabet. When were there only two vowels? In the days of No-a, before U and I were born. When will there be but twenty-five letters in the alphabet? When U and I are one. Why is U the gayest letter in the alphabet? Because it is always in fun. Why is T the happiest letter in the alphabet? Because it is next to you. Which are the two hottest letters in the alphabet? K N (cayenne). Why is O the most charitable letter in the alphabet? Because it is found oftener than any other letter d-o-ing g-oo-d. Why is the letter T like matrimony? It is the end of quiet and the beginning of trouble. Why is a farmer surprised at the letter G? It converts oats into goats. When was B the first letter of the alphabet? In the days of No-a. What step must I take to remove A from the alphabet? B-head it. Why is A like a honeysuckle? Because a "B" follows it. Why is the letter W like a scandal? Because it makes ill will. Why are two t's like hops? Because they make beer better. Spell enemy in three letters. No, not N M E; it's F O E. Spell auburn locks in two letters. S and Y. Spell brandy in three letters. B R and Y, and O D V. What must you add to nine to make it six? S, for IX with S is six. If you asked the alphabet to come to dinner, which letters could not accept your kind invitation till later in the evening? The last six, as they couldn't come till after T. How can you tell a girl of the name of Ellen that she is everything that is delightful in eight letters? U-r-a-bu-t-l-n. What is that which occurs twice in a moment and not once in a thousand years? The letter M. Why is A like twelve o'clock? Because it's the middle of day. Why is a false friend like the letter P? Because, though always first in pity, he is ever last in help. Why is the letter P like a Roman emperor? Because it's near O (Nero). Why is a fish-hook like the letter F? Because it will make an eel feel. What letter is that which is invisible, but never out of sight? I. How would you express in two letters that you were twice the bulk of your companion? I W (I double you). What two Christian names read the same both ways? Hannah and Anna. Why is the Isthmus of Suez like the first U in cucumber? Because it's between two seas (c's). What word is there of eight letters which has five of them the same? Oroonoko. Why is O the noisiest of all vowels? Because you cannot make a horrid loud noise without it, whilst all the others are inAUdIblE. What word contains the five vowels in their order? Facetious. Why is I the luckiest of all the vowels? Because it is in the center of bliss, whilst E is in hEll, and all the others are in pUrgAtOry. What must all the letters of the alphabet be in order to possess infinite sagacity? Wise (y's). Y y u r y y u b i c u r y y for me. Too wise you are, two wise you be; I see you are too wise for me. What are those things, which, though they appear twice in every day, and twice in every week, yet are only seen twice in a year? Vowels. What letter in the alphabet is necessary to make a shoe? The last. What word of six letters admits of five successive elisions, leaving at each abbreviation a well-known word? Brandy--brand--bran--ran--an--a. Name two English words, one of which, being of one syllable only, shall contain more letters than the other of five syllables? Strength--Ideality. Why is a glass-blower the most likely person to set the alphabet off at a gallop? Because he can make a D-canter. What word of six letters contains six words besides itself, without transposing a letter? Herein--he--her--here--ere--rein--in. Is there a word in the English language which contains all the vowels? Yes, unquestionably. Why is quizzing like the letter D on horseback? It is deriding (D riding). When did "Chicago" begin with a "C" and end with an "e"? Chicago always began with a "C" and end always began with an "e." There is an English word of more than two letters, of which la is the middle, is the beginning, and is the end, though there is but one "a" and one "l" in the word. What is it? Island, of which "la" is the middle, "is" the beginning, "and" is the end. What word is there of five letters, that, by taking two away, leaves but one? Stone. What word of one syllable, if you take two letters from it, remains a word of two syllables? Plague; ague. Why is the letter E a gloomy and discontented vowel? Because, though never out of health and pocket, it never appears in spirits. Why are the fourteenth and fifteenth letters of the alphabet of more importance than the others? Because we cannot get ON well without them. Why is the letter D like a squalling child? Because it makes ma mad. What river is ever without a beginning and ending? S-ever-n. Which is the coldest river? The Ice is (Isis). What word of ten letters can be spelled with five? XPDNC (expediency). What word of four syllables represents Sin riding on a little animal? Synonymous (Sin on a mouse). Why is an island like the letter T? Because it is in the midst of water (wa-t-er). Like what four letters of the alphabet is a honey-producing insect when in small health? Like A B C D (a bee seedy). Why is the letter S like a sewing-machine? Because it makes needles needless. Why is an uncomfortable seat like comfort? Because it is devoid of e's (ease). What two letters do boys delight in to the annoyance of their elders? Two t's (to tease). What single word would you put down for $40 borrowed from you? XL lent (excellent). What letter is the pleasantest to a deaf woman? A, because it makes her hear. What word is it, which, by changing a single letter, becomes its own opposite? United, untied. Why should the male sex avoid the letter A? Because it makes men mean. Why is a schoolmistress like the letter C? Because she forms lasses into classes. Why is the letter W like a maid of honor? Because it is always in waiting. Spell an interrogation with one letter. Y (why?). Why is the letter T like an amphibious animal? Because it lives both in earth and water. Why is the nose on your face like the v in civility? Because it's between two eyes (i's). Take away one letter from me, and like Macbeth I murder; take away two, and I probably shall die, if my whole does not save me. Kill-ill-skill. There is a word of three syllables, from which if you take away five letters a male will remain; if you take away four, a female will be conspicuous; if you take away three, a great man will appear; and the whole word shows what Joan of Arc was? He, her, hero, heroine. What letter in the Dutch alphabet will name an English lady of title? A Dutch-S. Why is the letter D like a hoop of gold? Because we can't be wed without it. Why is the letter K like a pig's tail? Because it is the end of pork. How do you spell "blind pig" in two letters? P G, pig without an I. Why is a horse like the letter O? Because Gee makes it Go. Why is the figure 9 like a peacock? It is nothing without its tail. When is the letter L like a piece of unparalleled generosity? When it enables a lady to make over a lover. Why is the letter F like a cow's tail? It is the end of beef. Describe a suit of old clothes in two letters? C D (seedy). Make five less by adding to it. V, IV. Why is the letter S like a pert repartee? Because it begins and ends in sauciness. What small animal is turned into a larger one by beheading it? Fox--ox. Why are sidewalks in winter like music? If you don't C sharp, you will B flat. Why is a pensive widow like the letter X? Because she's never inconsolable. What two letters express the most agreeable people in the world? U and I. How does the letter Y work an impossibility? It makes a lad into a lady. Tie a cross to a monkey and the animal will be transposed into a point. Add X to ape, and you obtain apex. Why is the letter N like a pig? Because it makes a sty nasty. Why is it that I cannot spell Cupid? When I get to C U (see you) I forget everything else. Why is the letter B like a fire? Because it makes oil boil. Why is the letter R a profitable letter? Because it makes ice into rice. Why is the letter T like Easter? Because it's the last of Lent. When does a blacksmith make a row in the alphabet? When he makes a poke-R and shove-L. What did the old woman say when she looked into the empty flour barrel? O I C U R M T. Why did Noah object to the letter D? Because it made the ark dark. Why are stars like an old barn? Because there are r, a, t, s in both. What are the worst letters of recommendation? I O U. Why is the letter D like a sailor? It follows the C (sea). If I were in the sun and you out of it, what would the sun become? Sin. |
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